Leading from Conviction—Not Control

When you’re building something fast—especially something beautiful, profitable, and new—it’s easy to mistake momentum for alignment. You think: If we’re moving this quickly, we must be doing something right.

But there’s a moment I see over and over again: A founder is onboarding new team members onto a rapidly scaling team. The vision is big, the stakes are high, and the systems are still catching up.

Those new hires are standing on the platform, trying to get on board the bullet train you’ve already launched.

Some of them don’t make it. They go splat.

And the ones who do? They’re running to keep up. They’re exhilarated—maybe even grateful to be there. But the pace doesn’t let up. And inside that speed, something subtle starts to happen.

Instead of sharing power, you default to control. Instead of building capacity, you start giving orders. Instead of practicing the power of clarity, trust, and coherence—you perform the power over everything.

Not because you’re a bad leader. But because it’s faster.

And in the name of efficiency, even the most well-intentioned founders start replicating the very dynamics they said they were leaving behind.

If you want to build something different, you have to lead from a different kind of power.

Because speed and scale without intentional power practices will always default to domination.

We’re not just talking about power in the abstract. We’re talking about the specific choice to lead from power over—command, control, centralization—versus the power of presence, integrity, and shared responsibility.

The problem—and why we keep defaulting to these patterns, especially inside capitalism where everyone’s racing for resources—is this:

Power over is fast, it’s clear, and it cuts through the chaos.

But it’s also extractive. And unsustainable. And it creates cultures where only the loudest voices or the most compliant minds survive.

Most of us don’t choose “power over” because we’re power-hungry. We choose it because it’s what we were taught. Because it’s what gets rewarded. Because when the pressure is on and the stakes are high, control feels safer than trust.

We don’t realize we’re replicating harm. We just want to keep things moving.

Leadership rooted in control might keep the trains running on time—but it also runs people over.

You don’t need a better delegation tool. You need to reckon with how you hold power.

And the reckoning is critical, as uncomfortable as it might be, because the costs are real—not just for your team, but for you.

Burnout isn’t just an operator problem. It’s a leadership problem.

The APA found that only 23% of employees believe their leaders actually model the values they claim to hold. 41% of workers cite ineffective leadership and unclear expectations as their primary stressors.

And while 77% of employees report being disengaged (Gallup, 2024)—likely in part due to the issues above—their managers are burning out even faster.

McKinsey found that 60% of leaders report feeling “used up” at the end of the day. And nearly 70% of executives are considering stepping down for roles that better support their well-being (Deloitte, 2023).

In other words: control might deliver short-term speed—but it erodes long-term trust.

And if urgency becomes your leadership style, disengagement becomes your culture.

The opposite can be just as damaging, and I know because I’ve lived it. When you work overtime to protect your team from urgency, control, or overload—without modeling the clarity, boundaries, or ownership you’re asking from them—you don’t prevent the problem.

You recreate it.

Because when the environment doesn’t support autonomy, alignment, or clarity—people don’t rise. They retreat. And so do you.

That’s not a personal failure. That’s a structural pattern.

Most founders didn’t grow up practicing the power of. They grew up absorbing the power over model in school, in corporate, in startup culture. They were taught that leadership means being the loudest, the clearest, the most certain person in the room.

So when everything feels messy and new and fast—they revert. They centralize decisions. They tighten control. They start making power hoarding look like leadership.

And suddenly, the thing they’re building doesn’t feel so different after all.

But what if you chose differently?

What if you slowed down long enough to practice the power of?

The power of trusting your team before they’ve “proven themselves.” The power of letting go—without falling apart. The power of choosing clarity over control.

It’s not as efficient in the short term. You might sacrifice some early cash flow. You might delay a few launches. You might feel like you’re moving slower than the competition.

But in the long term? You’re building something that can actually last.

Because urgency might drive short-term results. But trust drives long-term sustainability.

And trust isn’t built through perfection. It’s built through consistent, values-aligned power practices that invite others in—not just tell them what to do.

This kind of leadership doesn’t just prevent burnout. It redistributes power. It creates space for voices that have historically been silenced.

It allows your team to rise—not by proving themselves worthy—but by being trusted from the start.

That’s not just empowering. That’s liberatory.

Because liberation means being at choice.

And when you lead from the power of, you don’t just build a business. You build a culture where people have the agency to show up fully. Where they don’t have to shape-shift or over-function just to stay in the room.

That’s the difference between recreating the past—and building a future that actually feels like yours.

It’s not easy to practice this in real time. Especially when the stakes feel high and the pressure to deliver is relentless.

But leaders who’ve been through the fire—who’ve scaled fast, burned out hard, and still chose a different way—prove that leading with integrity doesn’t mean leaving results behind.

Barrett Brooks has lived this story. On COO-fessions, we got honest about what it really means to stop replicating the past—and start leading from conviction instead of control.

🎧 Episode 4: Barrett Brooks – You Can Build Anything. So Why Are You Repeating the Past?

Barrett is an executive coach and the former COO of Kit (formerly ConvertKit). He’s led teams at every stage of growth—and made the decision to lead from a different kind of power.

In this conversation, we unpack: 

• Why traditional power structures are so seductive when you’re scaling 

• How to name the power you actually want to practice 

• And what it looks like to lead from conviction—not control

Listen now, then forward it to the founder who’s moving fast—but wants to make sure they’re still moving in alignment.

Because the truth is: building fast doesn’t mean you’re building well.

And if you don’t choose how you lead, urgency will choose for you.

xo,
Brittany